Live the life you love and love the life you live.

I was thinking about a friend of mine the other day and this quote that she uses, "I live the life I love and I love the life I live," and I realized (again) how thankful I am that my life didn't go (or isn't going) the way I thought I wanted it to when I was younger.  I believe that the life that I "wanted" would have been great, but I also believe that it wouldn't have been AS great as my life has been because it wouldn't have been the life I needed.

Too often we hold on to the expectations of what we had for our lives rather than just live the life we have! Most of the expectations are false or unrealistic based on some fairy tale or pressure from the world. When those things don't happen we have two choices; we can live in disappointment, anger, bitterness and a selfish pursuit to chase or create that life (which usually ends in bad choices and their consequences) OR we can choose to accept the life that is before us and live it to it's fullest.

I am not saying that we shouldn't go after things we want, we do need to have goals, dreams etc.... What I am talking about is the "dream life." My dream life was being married with lots of kids (yes, I wanted to be a mini-van driving soccer mom) - all by the time I was 30(ish). Instead, I am single, work full-time, and live away from my family. I could dwell on the things I don't have and compare my life to what others do have and think "it's not fair, how come they got what I wanted?" OR I can embrace that this is MY life and it is going just as it should

My life isn't always beautiful, it's not always fun and it's not perfect by any means, but it IS an incredible life, because I can be confident in a sovereign God who knows what I need more than I do and I can rest in His love and faithfulness. My life has purpose far greater than the life I could have created on my own because it is trusted to God, and for that, I am thankful.

Are you living and loving the life you have been given?

Stuck in a Tunnel

Spartan Race - Stuck in a Tunnel

I went Austin this past weekend to run the Spartan Sprint with Fred (the same Fred that convinced me to run the half marathon – when will I learn?) 

Here we go again....

…and although I have completed a Tough Mudder, Half Marathon and Warrior Dash, I can honestly say this one – the Spartan Race was the worst - simply horrible. I can’t explain exactly why – other than it was hot, a lot of “stupid” running and longer than the “5K” that I thought it was. However, the worst part of the race, the part that still makes me hyperventilate a little bit when I think about it was the tunnel. *shutter*

The loooooooong horrible tunnel. It was long, tight, hot, dry and did I mention long? I have done tunnels before, however they usually were slanted a little to help with momentum or had mud it them so you could slide a little bit. This one – had nothing but dry dirt and stale air and did I mention how long it was? It was long!

I don’t know how long it took me to get half way through, but by then I was gasping for air and mentally trying to make myself keep moving. It hurt, my knees and elbows were bleeding, my core muscles were spasming, and my head was spinning. Right there in the middle of the tunnel – staring at the light at the end, I could not make myself move, but I HAD to move. There was someone behind me. Ugh! I had to keep going. No matter how painful, no matter how much longer I had to go, I had to keep moving.

Before entering the tunnel, it didn’t look so bad and I dove in, head first, not aware of the length, the darkness, the restricted space or what the other people around me were doing – I just dove in, because it was there – it was in front of me.

In life we/I “dive-in” to tunnels that don’t necessarily look so bad from the outside. Situations that may even look fun, challenging, or “no big deal” - we dive in, only do discover after a few “feet” that it is NOT fun – it is NOT good and it IS a big deal – it is a tight, dark, looooong tunnel, that you want nothing more than to get out of, yet you also don’t want to move. We often do what I did inside that tunnel - we freeze, freak out, stay where we are and just embrace the darkness of the tunnel. In that moment on Sunday, I thought, “I cannot move, I can’t possibly get out of this tunnel.”

Even though we can see the light at the end, sometimes the “comfort” of not doing anything, the "ease" of staying where we are “feels” better than the work it takes to get to there. We convince ourselves that staying in the "tunnel" will be more comfortable. However, in reality it will eventually suffocate us and it will hold others back.  

In the middle of the Spartan tunnel, I hurt, I was exhausted and I just didn’t want to move. Two things kept me going – 1) There was a person behind me, I had to move so they could move. It wasn’t just about me and “my” tunnel. Your “tunnel” isn’t just about you. There are people who are affected by the choices and situations we choose. And 2) The knowledge that at the end there was clearer air, refreshing water and a familiar face (Fred) to help me out. 

Thanks Fred, once again for convincing me to do something crazy like this.

Lately, I have felt stuck in a couple of life's tunnels and have learned a lot from this analogy from the Spartan Race (although I am not thankful that I had to go through THAT tunnel). 

If you’re "stuck" in a tunnel, if you think “I can’t move, I can’t possibly get out of this” – just keep moving – do the work - know that you are stronger than you feel - the pain is temporary! YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES to get to the light at the end - make up your mind to get there – be determined - no matter how long it takes.

It IS going to hurt! It IS going to take time! It IS NOT going to be fun and it may even leave some scars! But, there IS light at the end – and I PROMISE it will feel better than the dark, stale air that you are currently stuck in.  KEEP MOVING! 

We made it!

In Everything, Give Thanks

I love long road trips by myself, especially when I've been so busy I can hardly think straight. The long country roads, windows down and cruise control set allows me to just simply be me and clear my head.

This past weekend I drove to Nacogdoshes for a graduation. I was in the car by 5am, with my coffee and I LOVED IT! While driving a started thinking about how crazy my life has been lately: busy, emotional, so many people pulling different directions, decisions, temptations, schedules, events etc...etc... *sigh* Then I remembered this verse. "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in EVERYTHING give thanks." .... In everything, give thanks.

When I truly stop and take a moment to evaluate my life - in the  midst of the daily drama and stress - I honestly become overwhelmed by thankfulness. I have a GREAT life. I LOVE my life. Even when I don't like the circumstances of my life - I LOVE  my life. My thankfulness is not based on any temporary fulfillment, "perfect" circumstance or because thing are going the way I planned (because, believe me, they're not), it is simply an overwhelming thankfulness because I know this is the life I am meant to live, the life God has allowed  me to live. 

I have this photo as the screen saver on my phone:

And I always want the answer to be "living," not just existing. Life as Rx'd means embracing the craziness of life and being thankful, in everything.

I am thankful for the the drama, the people pulling in different directions, the decisions  I have to make, the temptations I face, the schedules and events and craziness (you don't have to necessarily like it to be thankful).... I am thankful - because it means I am living a full life.

We all have a choice - we can choose to be thankful or we can choose to be miserable.

"Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Failure....

I often see signs like this:

However, in life - in reality - failure IS an option - when we try new things, push ourselves or are placed in previously unknown circumstances or challenges there is the great possibility that we WILL FAIL. It's not that we failed that's important - it's what we do after, how we respond to the failure that matters.

In CrossFit we sometimes push to failure when lifting heavy weights.  A few weeks ago we were finding our new 2 rep max on back squats. In my head I was sure I had done 180# the last time. So as I set up the bar, I started at 155# and did okay, moved to 165# knocked out two reps, then loaded 175# on the bar. Went down in to the first squat - it was tough - went down in to the second squat and loosened up for a split second.

We are taught to dump the bar backwards - but when you're in a full depth squat with 175# on your back, throwing it backwards isn't as easy as it sounds. So, in that moment, I failed, I fell forward and the bar slammed on  my back! (I realized later when looking at my journal that my last time was only 155#, not 180# oops) - another lesson - be prepared! :)

This is what 175# FAILURE looks like:

OUCH!

Yes it hurt! Most failure does. However, I had a choice to make. I could use the hurt as an excuse to give up, to fear weight-lifting in the future and to "take a break" from CrossFit. OR I could accept the hurt, do what I needed to in order to heal and move forward.

This is the same concept when facing "failures" in the Christian life. Recently I have been faced with the reality that I am *gasp* human. I have tried new things and failed in new ways and have had to learn to move forward from that failure.

Naturally we want to retreat, take a break or quit... we beat ourselves up, or avoid certain situations, ignore the failure or "protect" ourselves by not allowing ourselves to be in those situations again. What we don't usually realize is that this response does not allow us to truly heal and grow stronger.

After my 175# failure at CrossFit, I could have quit, I could have taken "time off" or made excuses out of fear not to lift weights again because I didn't want to get hurt. In doing this I would not only be avoiding failure I would actually be allowing myself to become weaker in other areas as well.  Instead, I chose to keep showing up to the gym - bruise and all, making the proper modification to allow the area of hurt to heal, while not neglecting all other areas.

I WILL fail in CrossFit again and I WILL fail in life again - it's part of it. However, I am determined to continue showing up, even when it hurts, and do what is necessary to continue to strengthen my weaknesses.

Failure is part of life - don't stop living because of it!  Don't allow those failures to paralyze you. Get up, forgive yourself, learn from it, and do what you need to do to heal! Keep moving and you will get stronger! 

Thirty-One! Celebrating Life!

It's my birthday! (well yesterday) and I am officially moving away from my 20s. THIRTY-ONE! It's amazing how quickly life goes by, yet how slow it seems sometimes. This birthday I decided to take the day off work - the first time I have ever done that. I don't want to say I "deserved" it - but I sure needed it! Sleeping in until 8am, getting a massage and spending time with friends was a fabulous way to spend my birthday.

As usual, every year - I tend to reflect and celebrate the prior year. This year - I decided that my 30th year was my best year I've had yet!

In my 30th I was able to shed off many fears and insecurities that had held me captive for much of my life and become the "me" that I really am. This past year I laughed (a lot), cried a little, experienced some great "firsts," had a lot of fun and was intentional about investing in and spending time with the people in my life. My focus (most of the time) was on celebrating this gift of life, trying new things and really embracing every opportunity.

My 30th year started with my car being stolen and even though that seemed "tragic," I learned a great lesson in humility and accepting help from my friends (and I have some amazing friends in my life).

A few of the friends in my life that have always been there for me! LOVE THEM!

My two beautiful nieces were born! Dailey Lynne Morales and Kenzie Leigh Fink. Both are huge blessings to our family and both are the cutest most wonderful baby girls I've ever known. I have been an "aunt" to many kids over the years, but being a real aunt is indescribably wonderful and I miss those little girls every day!

Dailey and Kenzie

My "little" brother got married to a beautiful woman! I was so proud to stand with them and witness their wedding - (and I gave a pretty great toast if I do say so myself) - but it was easy because he is such a great brother. ;)

Mo and Ashle!

This year, I started this blog as a way to push myself to live life "as Rxd" - to not hold back anything.

As Rx'd: The Bible says that the greatest commandment is to love the Lord your God and to love your neighbor as yourself. When we are doing that - when we are truly loving God and loving people there is a sense of peace and freedom. We were made to love and to live for something greater than ourselves. That is what it means to LIVE "as Rx'd"...and I have experience that so much in this past year.

Additionally, health-wise, I have made some of the best decisions of my life. Accepting my body for what it is and taking the focus off of my weight, I decided to invest in my over-all health. I pushed myself beyond my limits which included participating in Tough Mudder and completing a half marathon.

There were many other little highlights throughout the year, but what truly made it the best year I've had so far is just the fact that I CHOSE to make it a great year! I stepped out in faith in many areas and allowed myself to be who I really am. I tried to throw off any pre-conceived ideas and expectations that I had put on myself (or allowed others to put on me) and just live!  I screwed up, a lot, but I also experienced grace in a way I never have before. I learned how to forgive myself (and in turn forgive others), I took chances, had faith and decided to stop making excuses.

I truly have had a pretty great life, however, during my 30th year I would so often stop myself and just thank God and think about how incredibly blessed and joyful I am - even when circumstances weren't full of joy - I had joy!

**
A lot of the times we just go through life and it is so easy to get caught up in the busy-ness and stress and forget to celebrate and be thankful for the many opportunities we've been blessed with.  

I want to encourage YOU to think about YOUR experiences - REFLECT, MAKE  A LIST, BE THANKFUL - for the good and the bad - because ultimately, life - all of it - is a gift and it IS amazing - you just have to choose to see it that way. 

In my 31st year, my goals are to LOVE more, PRAY more, GIVE more, SEEK God more, take more chances and continue to have as much fun as I possibly can!
(I also want to sky-dive and buy a house)

I challenge you to
Live and Celebrate YOUR LIFE!

Checking Things off the Bucket List

Last week I pinned this picture on my Pinterest "bucket list" Board with the caption "some day I'll complete a half marathon"

For me to even suggest something that involved running on my "Bucket List" seems insane, however, the more I've been running with my Bel Inizio group and after Tough Mudder I thought, a half marathon could be attainable...maybe....some day. So I pinned the picture, shut down my computer and started getting ready for work.

Literally within 10 minutes of pinning it I received this text from my friend Fred:

I had already planned the weekend trip to Austin to cheer her on in HER half marathon - to stand on the sidelines and encourage her as she pushed herself to complete the 13.1 miles. I DID NOT have ANY intention AT ALL of running that weekend. In fact, I was really looking forward to a casual, relaxing, fun weekend in Austin and to celebrate her great accomplishment.

Well, after some back and forth text and several "encouraging" messages from her  - I finally decided, with a sigh - "why not?" So she set out to get me a bib and I was committed.

Saturday morning we went down to pick up our packets and I officially started freaking out, full-on panick attack. Not sure why, like she said, I had already done a Tough Mudder, and there were no expectations at all about time/speed, we were just gonna see what we could do, but I was still freaking out.

By Sunday morning I was a little excited. We got up early and drove to the capitol. It was a nice, beautiful chili morning.

We checked in and made our way to the starting line.

The thousands of people gathering together, ready to run was starting to get me pumped up as I tried to wrap my mind around how far I have come. As our wave of people moved toward the official start line - I could hear Willie Nelson's Whiskey River blaring through the speakers - only in Texas! That got me ever more pumped as Fred and I started our official first 1/2 Marathon.

Before I knew it, we were stopping for a water/restroom break at mile 4.

By mile 6 we were feeling good and stopped to take a quick picture:

Mile 8 and still feeling great. For the most part we kept a good steady slow running pace, only stopping to walk a little during the water stations or up few hills. 

Feeling GREAT at Mile 8!

We saw the Lululemon crew who had told me the day before that they would be at mile 12, so we knew that we only had one mile left to go! And Ugh - with one mile left to go, my leg started cramping. Every few minutes my calf would spasm - that was fun! I slowed down to stretch it a little but was determined to run through the finish line.

 

 

400m to go - that's a "warm-up" run...no big deal!

We crossed the finish line, got our medals and celebrated that we just ran 13.1miles. And honestly, I was feeling great! Other than my spasm-ing calf muscle, I could have gone a few more miles...maybe ;)

We celebrated with some great music on the main stage, then headed out to eat a great post WOD meal, toasted our victory and then headed to Ginny's for some Chicken "poop" Bingo and more great music.

Our goal was to finish in 3hrs - we made it just under - 2hrs and 56mins

When I told Fred that I'd do the 1/2 with her, I thought I had officially gone crazy. I had a few people tell me it wasn't a good idea, a few others encourage me a little and others say "go for it." But then I thought to myself, that's what this whole "Life as Rx'd" thing is about. Trying new things, being crazy, living life to it's fullest, and taking the opportunities that are before you rather than making excuses. I could have made a million and one excuses to get out of it - and I thought of them all. But then why even put things one a bucket list that, when presented with the opportunity, I am going to make excuses to get out of it?  Now was as good of a time as any to run a half marathon.

There are so many things in life that people say they want to try or do, yet when they have the opportunity, they can come up with every excuse in the book. I used to be that way, but I am learning that I'd rather try and fail then be afraid to try at all. I don't want to live in fear and I don't want to regret that I did not take advantage of all the opportunities this amazing life has to offer.

What is it that you may be afraid to try? Hey, if this once over-weight, insecure, extremely fearful girl, can run a half marathon - YOU can do anything you set your mind to! TRY!! You won't regret it! I promise!

Celebrating Love!

Valentines Day: most people are thinking about, talking about, celebrating or wishing for love....Some single people get depressed around this holiday, some have "singles parties"  or "I hate Valentine's Day" get togethers. Some "ignore" that it's a "holiday" Etc...However, I have decided to enjoy the day, even as a single person - because it's not just about having a Valentine, or eating chocolate, or getting flowers - it's a reminder for each of us to celebrate the people and things that we LOVE!

I realized lately that I say "I hate..." a lot - usually being dramatic, "I hate pull-ups," "I hate doing payroll," "I hate wearing shoes" etc... but there really are a lot of things I LOVE about my life and since I am 30 and single (not complaining - really), I thought this Valentine's day, I would celebrate some things I love!

Just a few things I LOVE:
I LOVE my friends. I have some pretty amazing friends - near and far, young and old - God has given  me incredible friends.

I LOVE my car - it's not pretty, it's not fancy, it's not clean - but it's MINE.

I LOVE coffee. Every thing about coffee! Mmmmm, I LOVE it!

I LOVE Disneyland! Especially at night - and at Christmas it's even better! There is nothing like getting a cup of coffee, sitting on the bench and watching Tinker Bell fly across the sky. *magical*

I LOVE CrossFit!....more than that, I LOVE getting fit. I LOVE the feeling of pure and utter exhaustion and pain after a WOD. I LOVE lifting heavy weights and I LOVE dropping the bar in "victory" and falling to the ground in a pile of sweat when the WOD is over.

I LOVE being outdoors. Whether it's 100 degrees and humid or 40 degrees and windy, I would almost always rather be outside. 

I LOVE Texas...yep, I do. I really do - it took me awhile, but it's true. I love the rodeo, the cowboy hats, the culture, the values, the "yes ma'am" and "y'all"

I LOVE avocados. I used to hate them, but now I LOVE them - a lot!  

I LOVE music...and dancing to music. I LOVE that every time I dance I realize that in a lot of ways I am like my mom....and I LOVE that I am like my mom in those ways.

I LOVE kids. I LOVE their laughter, their simplicity, their innocence, their honesty.

(I especially LOVE these kids)

I LOVE trying new things (unless it's weird food).

I LOVE going to sporting events - any sport, any team!

I LOVE being an aunt. I didn't realize how amazing it would be. I have some incredible nieces!

I LOVE LOVE LOVE traveling - long flights, road-trips, adventures and new cultures! 

I LOVE pedicures, especially when the chair is a massage chair!

I LOVE my family! Every single one of them. I would not want to be related to any other crazy group of people! I LOVE them so much it hurts sometimes!

But most of all, I LOVE love! Not the mushy gushy feelings (although I'm sure those aren't bad either), but LOVE, pure, self-less, honest LOVE. I LOVE that God has given us the greatest example of what LOVE really is and that if we accept that love we are able to also love others in the truest definition of the word.

"Love is PATIENT, love is KIND and is NOT JEALOUS; love DOES NOT BRAG, and is NOT ARROGANT, does NOT ACT UNBECOMINGLY, it DOES NOT SEEK IT'S OWN, is NOT PROVOKED, DOES NOT TAKE IN TO ACCOUNT A WRONG SUFFERED, DOES NOT REJOICE IN UNRIGHTEOUSNESS, but REJOICES WITH THE TRUTH; Love BEARS ALL THINGS, BELIEVES ALL THINGS, HOPES ALL THINGS, ENDURES ALL THINGS. Love NEVER FAILS." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

"God is love."  1 John 4:8

"We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren." 1 John 3:16

"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13

"For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, not things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

The ability to love is an incredible gift we have been given. "We love because He first loved us." 1 John 4:19. .... Single or not, this Valentine's Day, I challenge you to take some time and celebrate the people and things that you love!