Wait, but While you Wait, Do Something....

As most of you know (and I say "most" like anyone actually reads this) anyway, as most of you know - my life changed pretty quickly the last several months and here I sit in a small coffee shop (not Starbucks), in a small town (not Tomball) adjusting to my "new" life as a wife to John Trimmer III.

I am going to try (I've said this before) to blog a little more, mainly for myself, because there is so much to process, and I will eventually (soon) write about the wedding - but right now, something deeper has been on my heart: WAITING (ready for my soapbox?)


 I am 32 years old and I "finally" got married (Praise the Lord). When I was younger, approaching the end of high school and the beginning of real life, I was in several women's (or girl's) Bible Study/fellowship groups. We read books like "Passion and Purity" and "I Kissed Dating Goodbye." We were encouraged to make a list of our ideal husband and pray that God would lead them to us, or, if we were really spiritual, pray that God would "prepare us to be the perfect wife for them."

As I got older, left home, experienced life and watched EVERY SINGLE ONE of my friends get married (not being dramatic at all), I began to get frustrated and think it was never going to happen to me - the "ideal" on the list was never going to come....And I was right

I realized somewhere toward the end of my 20s, that society, as well as Christian culture, puts it in our little girl heads that the main purpose of our lives is to be a wife and a mom. While I don't deny that that is a great purpose, I realized that God did not create me for the purpose of just being a wife. Our purpose in life, as Christians, is the have a relationship with Him and to glorify Him with our lives - whatever season we are in. I can remember the day that I prayed and said "Lord, I want my goal in life to be to glorify and please you, if you believe that I can do that best as a single person, then I want to be single and if you think I can best do that as a wife, then I want to be a wife."  My desire was still to be a wife, however my priority changed. I was no longer "waiting" to become a wife in order to "feel" like my life had purpose. I forgot about the lists, the books, the prayers for the "ideal" mate and I just began to LIVE. To enjoy the season I was in. To serve God, travel, work, play, travel some more and have so much fun doing it. 

And then, out of nowhere (it really does happen this way for some people) God moved me in to a new season and introduced me to the man who would become my husband....and to be honest, as much as I had waited for this season to come, I was scared. I was enjoying my "freedom" as a single person and now my world was being rocked....AND it DID NOT look like anything I had on that list when I was a teenager. I did not pull out the list and check off boxes to make sure he was "the one", I said "what in the world, God? Really?....um, okay....uh, Thank you!" 

I've been married just over two weeks now and it's been incredible. Our dating/courtship/engagement period moved quickly (when you know, you know), but I can say that the waiting 32 years - which sometimes felt like forever - was so worth it - I did not get a guy that I can check off a list, I did not get the "perfect" man, but I got the one who God saw was "perfect for me" and I love him deeply.

Please don't rush to find someone who fits your list, don't settle for someone who looks good on the outside who can fulfill a certain percentage of your "ideals" on your list, stop searching or seeking to find purpose in someone. WAIT....however, while you're waiting - DO SOMETHING. Enjoy life, fulfill your purpose in the season God has you. LIVE. I promise it'll make the waiting go by faster, you may not even notice the time passing or that you are waiting anymore because you will be busy living.

If you do make a list, be careful. Many people may come along who fit your list, but aren't a fit for you or it may not be God's time for you (junior-high/high school girls - there is so much to do in life - don't settle or seek value/purpose in a relationship - PLEASE).

If I were to find my list, I bet my husband would only match MAYBE 3 items on it (I am still praying about the fact that he's not a huge basketball fan and makes fun of the Lakers ever chance he gets). He is a diamond in the rough, his exterior is not what I would have had on my list (don't get me wrong, he's hot) - but the diamond that he is on the inside is so much more important than how the materialistic things on the outside make him look, to me or others. Anyone can fake it for awhile, but I have a husband who loves God, loves people, is generous, kind, giving, strong, funny, can fix anything and exceeds anything I could have created on a list. And God provided him to me when it was time - when he saw fit that I could glorify Him in this new role in my life. 

If you are in a waiting season, whether for a husband or something else, I strongly encourage you to continue to wait on God's timing, but while you wait - DO SOMETHING. You're life has purpose in every season you find yourself in - don't wait for the next season to live in your purpose.