Constantly Amazed

Okay, so it's been a long time since I've written a blog and I wish that were not the case because there is so much to write about.

The past few months have been a whirlwind of change and activity in my life and I am constantly amazed.

I quit my job in August and took off on a road trip to Reno, NV. Through Dallas, Oklahoma, Kansas, Colorado, Utah and finally ended in Nevada. I had a great time on the road by myself (some would say I was crazy) and I LOVED being able to stop and catch up with friends along the way.

Three weeks in Reno was the longest I had spent there since I moved away. My mom had hip replacement and I was blessed to have been able to be there to help with her recovery. As well as catch up with my family and friends. It went WAY better than I had anticipated.

Dallas, Oklahoma, Denver, Salt Lake

Loving Family Time!

After Reno, I drove through California, visiting with family and then headed down to Southern California for a week. It was a wonderful week visiting with some of my favorite people. 

The Morales Gang!

Makes me feel old - all the "children" I used to watch back in the Reno days.

As great as the trip was on it's own....God had a way of making it so much better....and this is where My Story begins!  So, there's this guy.... 

His name is John, I met him over a year ago and I thought he was, for lack of better words, an "immature ass" and he thought I was "stuffy and high and mighty".... he was a friend of a friend and I didn't have much to do with him. Well, a few weeks before my road trip, this same friend and I were going to dinner and she asked if someone could come along - it happened to be him. I almost instantly noticed a change in him from my previous encounters and came to find out how God had been working in his life over the past year.

We had several really good conversations and I really enjoyed talking with him. I was leaving on a road trip and was not assuming anything, therefore I was able to completely be myself, I was not trying to impress him or "chase" him - and yet, we hit it off really well. We got together a few times before I left and talked quite a bit while I was on the road and in Reno. 

He suggested flying to LAX and driving back with me. I freaked out a little bit, but said okay. 

When he arrived in California, I was really excited to see him and we had a great day at the beach. We spent a few days with my friends in La Habra and really enjoyed our time there. 

Can't get any better than Laguna Beach

Celebrating Fall with some of my favorite people

The road trip home was full of great conversations and a lot of fun as we explored Arizona and New Mexico. The Grand Canyon was ridiculously amazing, we went to the Petrified Forest  and got lost in the Apache National Forest which was beautiful beyond description. We had so much fun together and talked about everything you could possibly imagine. We laughed, cried, got lost, got a ticket (well, I did), and just had an incredible road trip together.

Rest stop somewhere between California and Arizona

Grand Canyon

Grand Canyon

I am constantly amazed by God's direction for my life. Just when I honestly had come to be okay with being single and independent - I was not looking for anyone - I was just living and loving life, doing what I felt was the best for me at the time and along came this amazing guy, who has allowed God to change his life and develop him in to the man that I have waited 31 years for. 

It has been an incredible journey and I am so excited for whatever the next step looks like. I am feeling the rewards of honoring God in my relationships and waiting for the person that God designed just for me. 

I'm Constantly Amazed....

"Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation of shifting shadow." James 1:17

3.2.1...JUMP

The other day my mom was telling me how my niece, Dailey has gotten so "brave" in the water, she will just run to the edge of the pool and "jump" in (really more like a walk off the edge), but without fear, smiling all the way, trusting that my mom, or someone will make sure she doesn't drown.

I don't have a pic of her "jumping" but I LOVE this one as well.
Look at the joy on her face!

I kind of feel like I have just run to the edge and "jumped" off the deep end and I'm hoping and praying I don't drown. 

I put in my notice at work this week. I have been with By Design Interiors for over 4 years and it's been an amazing, learning, growing, stretching and sometimes stressful experience. I have a deep respect for the owner, Peggy and for the business that she has grown. However, I knew from the beginning that the Interior Design world was not my passion or where I wanted to be forever.

It's been a "fun" ride with these ladies!

Some things have come up recently that have allowed me to begin thinking about doing something that I really love. I am not 100% sure of what that is yet, because there are a lot of things I love. But I do know that what I REALLY want to do is use my skills in such a way that truly impact people's lives in a real way.

It seems kind of crazy that I would quit my job without having another one lined up. I did a lot of praying and I just knew that I was done. It wasn't fare to myself or my boss to continue working when my heart wasn't in it - at all. So, I took a deep breath, said "3.2.1...JUMP" and I walked in her office and had the hard conversation. 

She understood completely and was thankful that I gave a full month's notice, and I was relieved to have taken that step. That moment of relief and sense of freedom was then overwhelmed with "oh my gosh, what am I going to do now?".... fear, but mostly excitement knowing that the possibilities are endless. I could go anywhere, try anything!

Now, I don't suggest that just any body quit their job (or quit anything) simply because they don't "like" it any more. Just like a one year old shouldn't just jump off the edge of the pool when there is no one there to catch them.  Bills need to get paid, commitments need to be kept and responsibilities are real. I know and truly believe that. Faith is a huge part of the jump, but you've also got to use wisdom. After much prayer and calculations, in my situation I decided -  I am young, not tied down, and have been blessed to be able to save a little and minimize my bills - I knew that with or without a job right away I would be okay for a little bit and this was something I needed to do. I needed to jump!

So, I am moving on to the next season of my life....whatever that may be and I am super excited.
 

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up...

"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing."
1 Thessalonians 5:11.  I have this verse on a frame that holds a picture of some of my favorite people. Jen, Shannon, Shauna and myself on the beach in California.

These three ladies have been some of my closest friends since I was 13, we have been through all kinds of life events together and currently all now live hundreds of miles apart. Jen is in Nashville, Shannon in Seattle, Shauna is in Reno, and I am out in Texas.

Through the years and as life has happened we have gone long periods of time without seeing each other. This past week, we were blessed to be able to come together again after several years for a little reunion and to celebrate Ms. Shauna's wedding! :) What a great celebration it was.

Jen, Shannon and I the night before the wedding!

Dinner reunion!

Shauna is always full of joy, love and pure self-lessness. I don't know if she's ever had a bad day. She truly loves life, loves God and loves people. On days when I am feeling negative, grouchy and having a hard time seeing the positive in a situation, I think of her and pray to be made "more like Shauna" with her joy and her strength.

She is such an amazing woman!

What a blessing it was to be reunited to celebrate such a joyous occasion.

CONGRATS SHAUNA - WE LOVE YOU!

 I am so blessed to have such amazing friends in my life who, no matter what happens or where life takes us, we can continue to "encourage one another and lift each other up!"

Live the life you love and love the life you live.

I was thinking about a friend of mine the other day and this quote that she uses, "I live the life I love and I love the life I live," and I realized (again) how thankful I am that my life didn't go (or isn't going) the way I thought I wanted it to when I was younger.  I believe that the life that I "wanted" would have been great, but I also believe that it wouldn't have been AS great as my life has been because it wouldn't have been the life I needed.

Too often we hold on to the expectations of what we had for our lives rather than just live the life we have! Most of the expectations are false or unrealistic based on some fairy tale or pressure from the world. When those things don't happen we have two choices; we can live in disappointment, anger, bitterness and a selfish pursuit to chase or create that life (which usually ends in bad choices and their consequences) OR we can choose to accept the life that is before us and live it to it's fullest.

I am not saying that we shouldn't go after things we want, we do need to have goals, dreams etc.... What I am talking about is the "dream life." My dream life was being married with lots of kids (yes, I wanted to be a mini-van driving soccer mom) - all by the time I was 30(ish). Instead, I am single, work full-time, and live away from my family. I could dwell on the things I don't have and compare my life to what others do have and think "it's not fair, how come they got what I wanted?" OR I can embrace that this is MY life and it is going just as it should

My life isn't always beautiful, it's not always fun and it's not perfect by any means, but it IS an incredible life, because I can be confident in a sovereign God who knows what I need more than I do and I can rest in His love and faithfulness. My life has purpose far greater than the life I could have created on my own because it is trusted to God, and for that, I am thankful.

Are you living and loving the life you have been given?

Stuck in a Tunnel

Spartan Race - Stuck in a Tunnel

I went Austin this past weekend to run the Spartan Sprint with Fred (the same Fred that convinced me to run the half marathon – when will I learn?) 

Here we go again....

…and although I have completed a Tough Mudder, Half Marathon and Warrior Dash, I can honestly say this one – the Spartan Race was the worst - simply horrible. I can’t explain exactly why – other than it was hot, a lot of “stupid” running and longer than the “5K” that I thought it was. However, the worst part of the race, the part that still makes me hyperventilate a little bit when I think about it was the tunnel. *shutter*

The loooooooong horrible tunnel. It was long, tight, hot, dry and did I mention long? I have done tunnels before, however they usually were slanted a little to help with momentum or had mud it them so you could slide a little bit. This one – had nothing but dry dirt and stale air and did I mention how long it was? It was long!

I don’t know how long it took me to get half way through, but by then I was gasping for air and mentally trying to make myself keep moving. It hurt, my knees and elbows were bleeding, my core muscles were spasming, and my head was spinning. Right there in the middle of the tunnel – staring at the light at the end, I could not make myself move, but I HAD to move. There was someone behind me. Ugh! I had to keep going. No matter how painful, no matter how much longer I had to go, I had to keep moving.

Before entering the tunnel, it didn’t look so bad and I dove in, head first, not aware of the length, the darkness, the restricted space or what the other people around me were doing – I just dove in, because it was there – it was in front of me.

In life we/I “dive-in” to tunnels that don’t necessarily look so bad from the outside. Situations that may even look fun, challenging, or “no big deal” - we dive in, only do discover after a few “feet” that it is NOT fun – it is NOT good and it IS a big deal – it is a tight, dark, looooong tunnel, that you want nothing more than to get out of, yet you also don’t want to move. We often do what I did inside that tunnel - we freeze, freak out, stay where we are and just embrace the darkness of the tunnel. In that moment on Sunday, I thought, “I cannot move, I can’t possibly get out of this tunnel.”

Even though we can see the light at the end, sometimes the “comfort” of not doing anything, the "ease" of staying where we are “feels” better than the work it takes to get to there. We convince ourselves that staying in the "tunnel" will be more comfortable. However, in reality it will eventually suffocate us and it will hold others back.  

In the middle of the Spartan tunnel, I hurt, I was exhausted and I just didn’t want to move. Two things kept me going – 1) There was a person behind me, I had to move so they could move. It wasn’t just about me and “my” tunnel. Your “tunnel” isn’t just about you. There are people who are affected by the choices and situations we choose. And 2) The knowledge that at the end there was clearer air, refreshing water and a familiar face (Fred) to help me out. 

Thanks Fred, once again for convincing me to do something crazy like this.

Lately, I have felt stuck in a couple of life's tunnels and have learned a lot from this analogy from the Spartan Race (although I am not thankful that I had to go through THAT tunnel). 

If you’re "stuck" in a tunnel, if you think “I can’t move, I can’t possibly get out of this” – just keep moving – do the work - know that you are stronger than you feel - the pain is temporary! YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES to get to the light at the end - make up your mind to get there – be determined - no matter how long it takes.

It IS going to hurt! It IS going to take time! It IS NOT going to be fun and it may even leave some scars! But, there IS light at the end – and I PROMISE it will feel better than the dark, stale air that you are currently stuck in.  KEEP MOVING! 

We made it!

In Everything, Give Thanks

I love long road trips by myself, especially when I've been so busy I can hardly think straight. The long country roads, windows down and cruise control set allows me to just simply be me and clear my head.

This past weekend I drove to Nacogdoshes for a graduation. I was in the car by 5am, with my coffee and I LOVED IT! While driving a started thinking about how crazy my life has been lately: busy, emotional, so many people pulling different directions, decisions, temptations, schedules, events etc...etc... *sigh* Then I remembered this verse. "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in EVERYTHING give thanks." .... In everything, give thanks.

When I truly stop and take a moment to evaluate my life - in the  midst of the daily drama and stress - I honestly become overwhelmed by thankfulness. I have a GREAT life. I LOVE my life. Even when I don't like the circumstances of my life - I LOVE  my life. My thankfulness is not based on any temporary fulfillment, "perfect" circumstance or because thing are going the way I planned (because, believe me, they're not), it is simply an overwhelming thankfulness because I know this is the life I am meant to live, the life God has allowed  me to live. 

I have this photo as the screen saver on my phone:

And I always want the answer to be "living," not just existing. Life as Rx'd means embracing the craziness of life and being thankful, in everything.

I am thankful for the the drama, the people pulling in different directions, the decisions  I have to make, the temptations I face, the schedules and events and craziness (you don't have to necessarily like it to be thankful).... I am thankful - because it means I am living a full life.

We all have a choice - we can choose to be thankful or we can choose to be miserable.

"Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Failure....

I often see signs like this:

However, in life - in reality - failure IS an option - when we try new things, push ourselves or are placed in previously unknown circumstances or challenges there is the great possibility that we WILL FAIL. It's not that we failed that's important - it's what we do after, how we respond to the failure that matters.

In CrossFit we sometimes push to failure when lifting heavy weights.  A few weeks ago we were finding our new 2 rep max on back squats. In my head I was sure I had done 180# the last time. So as I set up the bar, I started at 155# and did okay, moved to 165# knocked out two reps, then loaded 175# on the bar. Went down in to the first squat - it was tough - went down in to the second squat and loosened up for a split second.

We are taught to dump the bar backwards - but when you're in a full depth squat with 175# on your back, throwing it backwards isn't as easy as it sounds. So, in that moment, I failed, I fell forward and the bar slammed on  my back! (I realized later when looking at my journal that my last time was only 155#, not 180# oops) - another lesson - be prepared! :)

This is what 175# FAILURE looks like:

OUCH!

Yes it hurt! Most failure does. However, I had a choice to make. I could use the hurt as an excuse to give up, to fear weight-lifting in the future and to "take a break" from CrossFit. OR I could accept the hurt, do what I needed to in order to heal and move forward.

This is the same concept when facing "failures" in the Christian life. Recently I have been faced with the reality that I am *gasp* human. I have tried new things and failed in new ways and have had to learn to move forward from that failure.

Naturally we want to retreat, take a break or quit... we beat ourselves up, or avoid certain situations, ignore the failure or "protect" ourselves by not allowing ourselves to be in those situations again. What we don't usually realize is that this response does not allow us to truly heal and grow stronger.

After my 175# failure at CrossFit, I could have quit, I could have taken "time off" or made excuses out of fear not to lift weights again because I didn't want to get hurt. In doing this I would not only be avoiding failure I would actually be allowing myself to become weaker in other areas as well.  Instead, I chose to keep showing up to the gym - bruise and all, making the proper modification to allow the area of hurt to heal, while not neglecting all other areas.

I WILL fail in CrossFit again and I WILL fail in life again - it's part of it. However, I am determined to continue showing up, even when it hurts, and do what is necessary to continue to strengthen my weaknesses.

Failure is part of life - don't stop living because of it!  Don't allow those failures to paralyze you. Get up, forgive yourself, learn from it, and do what you need to do to heal! Keep moving and you will get stronger! 

Thirty-One! Celebrating Life!

It's my birthday! (well yesterday) and I am officially moving away from my 20s. THIRTY-ONE! It's amazing how quickly life goes by, yet how slow it seems sometimes. This birthday I decided to take the day off work - the first time I have ever done that. I don't want to say I "deserved" it - but I sure needed it! Sleeping in until 8am, getting a massage and spending time with friends was a fabulous way to spend my birthday.

As usual, every year - I tend to reflect and celebrate the prior year. This year - I decided that my 30th year was my best year I've had yet!

In my 30th I was able to shed off many fears and insecurities that had held me captive for much of my life and become the "me" that I really am. This past year I laughed (a lot), cried a little, experienced some great "firsts," had a lot of fun and was intentional about investing in and spending time with the people in my life. My focus (most of the time) was on celebrating this gift of life, trying new things and really embracing every opportunity.

My 30th year started with my car being stolen and even though that seemed "tragic," I learned a great lesson in humility and accepting help from my friends (and I have some amazing friends in my life).

A few of the friends in my life that have always been there for me! LOVE THEM!

My two beautiful nieces were born! Dailey Lynne Morales and Kenzie Leigh Fink. Both are huge blessings to our family and both are the cutest most wonderful baby girls I've ever known. I have been an "aunt" to many kids over the years, but being a real aunt is indescribably wonderful and I miss those little girls every day!

Dailey and Kenzie

My "little" brother got married to a beautiful woman! I was so proud to stand with them and witness their wedding - (and I gave a pretty great toast if I do say so myself) - but it was easy because he is such a great brother. ;)

Mo and Ashle!

This year, I started this blog as a way to push myself to live life "as Rxd" - to not hold back anything.

As Rx'd: The Bible says that the greatest commandment is to love the Lord your God and to love your neighbor as yourself. When we are doing that - when we are truly loving God and loving people there is a sense of peace and freedom. We were made to love and to live for something greater than ourselves. That is what it means to LIVE "as Rx'd"...and I have experience that so much in this past year.

Additionally, health-wise, I have made some of the best decisions of my life. Accepting my body for what it is and taking the focus off of my weight, I decided to invest in my over-all health. I pushed myself beyond my limits which included participating in Tough Mudder and completing a half marathon.

There were many other little highlights throughout the year, but what truly made it the best year I've had so far is just the fact that I CHOSE to make it a great year! I stepped out in faith in many areas and allowed myself to be who I really am. I tried to throw off any pre-conceived ideas and expectations that I had put on myself (or allowed others to put on me) and just live!  I screwed up, a lot, but I also experienced grace in a way I never have before. I learned how to forgive myself (and in turn forgive others), I took chances, had faith and decided to stop making excuses.

I truly have had a pretty great life, however, during my 30th year I would so often stop myself and just thank God and think about how incredibly blessed and joyful I am - even when circumstances weren't full of joy - I had joy!

**
A lot of the times we just go through life and it is so easy to get caught up in the busy-ness and stress and forget to celebrate and be thankful for the many opportunities we've been blessed with.  

I want to encourage YOU to think about YOUR experiences - REFLECT, MAKE  A LIST, BE THANKFUL - for the good and the bad - because ultimately, life - all of it - is a gift and it IS amazing - you just have to choose to see it that way. 

In my 31st year, my goals are to LOVE more, PRAY more, GIVE more, SEEK God more, take more chances and continue to have as much fun as I possibly can!
(I also want to sky-dive and buy a house)

I challenge you to
Live and Celebrate YOUR LIFE!

Checking Things off the Bucket List

Last week I pinned this picture on my Pinterest "bucket list" Board with the caption "some day I'll complete a half marathon"

For me to even suggest something that involved running on my "Bucket List" seems insane, however, the more I've been running with my Bel Inizio group and after Tough Mudder I thought, a half marathon could be attainable...maybe....some day. So I pinned the picture, shut down my computer and started getting ready for work.

Literally within 10 minutes of pinning it I received this text from my friend Fred:

I had already planned the weekend trip to Austin to cheer her on in HER half marathon - to stand on the sidelines and encourage her as she pushed herself to complete the 13.1 miles. I DID NOT have ANY intention AT ALL of running that weekend. In fact, I was really looking forward to a casual, relaxing, fun weekend in Austin and to celebrate her great accomplishment.

Well, after some back and forth text and several "encouraging" messages from her  - I finally decided, with a sigh - "why not?" So she set out to get me a bib and I was committed.

Saturday morning we went down to pick up our packets and I officially started freaking out, full-on panick attack. Not sure why, like she said, I had already done a Tough Mudder, and there were no expectations at all about time/speed, we were just gonna see what we could do, but I was still freaking out.

By Sunday morning I was a little excited. We got up early and drove to the capitol. It was a nice, beautiful chili morning.

We checked in and made our way to the starting line.

The thousands of people gathering together, ready to run was starting to get me pumped up as I tried to wrap my mind around how far I have come. As our wave of people moved toward the official start line - I could hear Willie Nelson's Whiskey River blaring through the speakers - only in Texas! That got me ever more pumped as Fred and I started our official first 1/2 Marathon.

Before I knew it, we were stopping for a water/restroom break at mile 4.

By mile 6 we were feeling good and stopped to take a quick picture:

Mile 8 and still feeling great. For the most part we kept a good steady slow running pace, only stopping to walk a little during the water stations or up few hills. 

Feeling GREAT at Mile 8!

We saw the Lululemon crew who had told me the day before that they would be at mile 12, so we knew that we only had one mile left to go! And Ugh - with one mile left to go, my leg started cramping. Every few minutes my calf would spasm - that was fun! I slowed down to stretch it a little but was determined to run through the finish line.

 

 

400m to go - that's a "warm-up" run...no big deal!

We crossed the finish line, got our medals and celebrated that we just ran 13.1miles. And honestly, I was feeling great! Other than my spasm-ing calf muscle, I could have gone a few more miles...maybe ;)

We celebrated with some great music on the main stage, then headed out to eat a great post WOD meal, toasted our victory and then headed to Ginny's for some Chicken "poop" Bingo and more great music.

Our goal was to finish in 3hrs - we made it just under - 2hrs and 56mins

When I told Fred that I'd do the 1/2 with her, I thought I had officially gone crazy. I had a few people tell me it wasn't a good idea, a few others encourage me a little and others say "go for it." But then I thought to myself, that's what this whole "Life as Rx'd" thing is about. Trying new things, being crazy, living life to it's fullest, and taking the opportunities that are before you rather than making excuses. I could have made a million and one excuses to get out of it - and I thought of them all. But then why even put things one a bucket list that, when presented with the opportunity, I am going to make excuses to get out of it?  Now was as good of a time as any to run a half marathon.

There are so many things in life that people say they want to try or do, yet when they have the opportunity, they can come up with every excuse in the book. I used to be that way, but I am learning that I'd rather try and fail then be afraid to try at all. I don't want to live in fear and I don't want to regret that I did not take advantage of all the opportunities this amazing life has to offer.

What is it that you may be afraid to try? Hey, if this once over-weight, insecure, extremely fearful girl, can run a half marathon - YOU can do anything you set your mind to! TRY!! You won't regret it! I promise!