Paytyn's Army

I have been given one of the greatest gifts - a lifelong friend. There is not a memory or time that I can think of that Jeanna was not a part of my life. Her and her family have been like second family to my brother's and I. We have been through EVERYTHING (and then some) together. So, you can imagine the heartache that I felt when, just a week or so before my wedding I got "the call" from Jeanna that her son Paytyn was diagnosed with a brain tumor....my heart sunk - the details of the wedding faded in to the background.

On May 19, 2013 Paytyn Squires was diagnosed with a very aggressive brain tumor called Pontine Glioma with drop metastases throughout his spinal cord.

All I wanted to do was get on a plane, get to her as fast as I could and hug her and her little family tight! As much as I wanted/needed this lifelong friend of mine to be a part of "my" day, all I could think about from that moment on was how much more I wanted her little boy to be 100% better.

I made some adjustments and made sure "Jeanna" was a part of my wedding and I haven't stop praying from the moment I heard the news (and I appreciate all those who have come along side me to pray as well).

Jeanna with me at the rehearsal dinner!

Jeanna helping me get ready for the wedding.

Paytyn is such an incredible little boy. He's probably the smartest 5 year old I know and by the time he was 2 he knew more animal sounds than I do now, at 32. He loves animals, cars, the American flag, and bald eagles and he is a true cowboy. He's even done mutton bustin' at the rodeo in Salt Lake. (he's my hero - I love those brave little guys that do that). He loves his little sister Brya - I always enjoyed seeing how well they played together. I can't say enough about how smart, funny, loving, strong and just plain incredible this boy is.....I love him SO much.

Paytyn (5)  and Brya (3)

Cowboy Paytyn (makes my Texas heart proud)

After being married for just 2.5 weeks, my loving and completely understanding husband helped me get to Salt Lake to be with Jeanna and her family. I probably needed the trip more than she did. It was a blessing to be able to hug their necks, try to serve and encourage them and just spend a few days there.

Paytyn is currently undergoing daily radiation and chemotherapy and at 5 years old Paytyn is going through what no child should have to experience, yet he has an amazingly positive attitude. I was so encouraged by him while I was there visiting. He hardly complained, cried or made a negative comment. When he was uncomfortable he'd make a small whimper, as if he didn't want to bother anyone. He did everything his parents and doctors asked him to do and just wants to get healthy so he can play with his sister. Jeanna is one of the strongest people I know and has also maintained a positive/hopeful spirit throughout this experience.

Paytyn finishing a puzzle with Mom, Sister and Aunt Chelsea

I believe in miracles! I've seen them - I am reminded of them every day - and I am praying for a miracle for Paytyn Squires. Will you join me?

paytyn’s army are individuals who are coming alongside this family to support, pray, encourage and donate financially so that they can focus every moment of their day and every ounce of their being on Paytyn's healing. Below is a list of  fundraiser events that will be taking place in Reno to help with their financial needs. With one income and no insurance you can imagine the stress this is having on their family. In addition, PLEASE join me in constant prayer for their family. Soon there will be a Facebook Page set up and a website that will keep you updated on Paytyn's progress as well as hopefully raise some awareness and funds for research on this rare and aggressive type of cancer.

This is a story of hope, strength and faith .... and a story of my dearest friend Jeanna and her precious family. I love them, and I greatly appreciate any prayers and support this little blog post can get them.

Cowboy Paytyn - Good  Day during Aunt Chelsea's visit

Upcoming Events

Car Wash #1 – Sunday, April 21, 2013 –9:00-4:00pm

Wells Avenue Car Wash – 1019 S. Wells Ave. Reno, NV

Wells Avenue Car Wash has been kind enough to donate a portion of their revenue this day to Paytyn! 

Car Wash #2 – Saturday, April 27, 2013  - 9:30-5:00pm

Am/Pm - 2002 Sierra Highlands Dr. Off of Mae Anne, Reno, NV

Friends and family of the Squires will gather together to wash cars for donations. 100% of the proceeds will go towards Paytyn’s care.

Pay It Forward/Jewelry and Treats Party

Saturday May 4, 2013 – 1-3pm

2981 Lida Lane in Sparks.
A girl’s party with jewelry and treats. A part of the jewelry proceeds will be going to Paytyn’s Medical expenses. There will also be a raffle to win a cheesecake from Sweet Creams Cheesecakery - 100% of the raffle ticket proceeds will go towards Paytyn’s care.

Donations can also be made to Paytyn Squires at any Mountain America Credit Union - Acct # 9585030

Online donations use routing #324079555

Wait, but While you Wait, Do Something....

As most of you know (and I say "most" like anyone actually reads this) anyway, as most of you know - my life changed pretty quickly the last several months and here I sit in a small coffee shop (not Starbucks), in a small town (not Tomball) adjusting to my "new" life as a wife to John Trimmer III.

I am going to try (I've said this before) to blog a little more, mainly for myself, because there is so much to process, and I will eventually (soon) write about the wedding - but right now, something deeper has been on my heart: WAITING (ready for my soapbox?)


 I am 32 years old and I "finally" got married (Praise the Lord). When I was younger, approaching the end of high school and the beginning of real life, I was in several women's (or girl's) Bible Study/fellowship groups. We read books like "Passion and Purity" and "I Kissed Dating Goodbye." We were encouraged to make a list of our ideal husband and pray that God would lead them to us, or, if we were really spiritual, pray that God would "prepare us to be the perfect wife for them."

As I got older, left home, experienced life and watched EVERY SINGLE ONE of my friends get married (not being dramatic at all), I began to get frustrated and think it was never going to happen to me - the "ideal" on the list was never going to come....And I was right

I realized somewhere toward the end of my 20s, that society, as well as Christian culture, puts it in our little girl heads that the main purpose of our lives is to be a wife and a mom. While I don't deny that that is a great purpose, I realized that God did not create me for the purpose of just being a wife. Our purpose in life, as Christians, is the have a relationship with Him and to glorify Him with our lives - whatever season we are in. I can remember the day that I prayed and said "Lord, I want my goal in life to be to glorify and please you, if you believe that I can do that best as a single person, then I want to be single and if you think I can best do that as a wife, then I want to be a wife."  My desire was still to be a wife, however my priority changed. I was no longer "waiting" to become a wife in order to "feel" like my life had purpose. I forgot about the lists, the books, the prayers for the "ideal" mate and I just began to LIVE. To enjoy the season I was in. To serve God, travel, work, play, travel some more and have so much fun doing it. 

And then, out of nowhere (it really does happen this way for some people) God moved me in to a new season and introduced me to the man who would become my husband....and to be honest, as much as I had waited for this season to come, I was scared. I was enjoying my "freedom" as a single person and now my world was being rocked....AND it DID NOT look like anything I had on that list when I was a teenager. I did not pull out the list and check off boxes to make sure he was "the one", I said "what in the world, God? Really?....um, okay....uh, Thank you!" 

I've been married just over two weeks now and it's been incredible. Our dating/courtship/engagement period moved quickly (when you know, you know), but I can say that the waiting 32 years - which sometimes felt like forever - was so worth it - I did not get a guy that I can check off a list, I did not get the "perfect" man, but I got the one who God saw was "perfect for me" and I love him deeply.

Please don't rush to find someone who fits your list, don't settle for someone who looks good on the outside who can fulfill a certain percentage of your "ideals" on your list, stop searching or seeking to find purpose in someone. WAIT....however, while you're waiting - DO SOMETHING. Enjoy life, fulfill your purpose in the season God has you. LIVE. I promise it'll make the waiting go by faster, you may not even notice the time passing or that you are waiting anymore because you will be busy living.

If you do make a list, be careful. Many people may come along who fit your list, but aren't a fit for you or it may not be God's time for you (junior-high/high school girls - there is so much to do in life - don't settle or seek value/purpose in a relationship - PLEASE).

If I were to find my list, I bet my husband would only match MAYBE 3 items on it (I am still praying about the fact that he's not a huge basketball fan and makes fun of the Lakers ever chance he gets). He is a diamond in the rough, his exterior is not what I would have had on my list (don't get me wrong, he's hot) - but the diamond that he is on the inside is so much more important than how the materialistic things on the outside make him look, to me or others. Anyone can fake it for awhile, but I have a husband who loves God, loves people, is generous, kind, giving, strong, funny, can fix anything and exceeds anything I could have created on a list. And God provided him to me when it was time - when he saw fit that I could glorify Him in this new role in my life. 

If you are in a waiting season, whether for a husband or something else, I strongly encourage you to continue to wait on God's timing, but while you wait - DO SOMETHING. You're life has purpose in every season you find yourself in - don't wait for the next season to live in your purpose.

Constantly Amazed

Okay, so it's been a long time since I've written a blog and I wish that were not the case because there is so much to write about.

The past few months have been a whirlwind of change and activity in my life and I am constantly amazed.

I quit my job in August and took off on a road trip to Reno, NV. Through Dallas, Oklahoma, Kansas, Colorado, Utah and finally ended in Nevada. I had a great time on the road by myself (some would say I was crazy) and I LOVED being able to stop and catch up with friends along the way.

Three weeks in Reno was the longest I had spent there since I moved away. My mom had hip replacement and I was blessed to have been able to be there to help with her recovery. As well as catch up with my family and friends. It went WAY better than I had anticipated.

Dallas, Oklahoma, Denver, Salt Lake

Loving Family Time!

After Reno, I drove through California, visiting with family and then headed down to Southern California for a week. It was a wonderful week visiting with some of my favorite people. 

The Morales Gang!

Makes me feel old - all the "children" I used to watch back in the Reno days.

As great as the trip was on it's own....God had a way of making it so much better....and this is where My Story begins!  So, there's this guy.... 

His name is John, I met him over a year ago and I thought he was, for lack of better words, an "immature ass" and he thought I was "stuffy and high and mighty".... he was a friend of a friend and I didn't have much to do with him. Well, a few weeks before my road trip, this same friend and I were going to dinner and she asked if someone could come along - it happened to be him. I almost instantly noticed a change in him from my previous encounters and came to find out how God had been working in his life over the past year.

We had several really good conversations and I really enjoyed talking with him. I was leaving on a road trip and was not assuming anything, therefore I was able to completely be myself, I was not trying to impress him or "chase" him - and yet, we hit it off really well. We got together a few times before I left and talked quite a bit while I was on the road and in Reno. 

He suggested flying to LAX and driving back with me. I freaked out a little bit, but said okay. 

When he arrived in California, I was really excited to see him and we had a great day at the beach. We spent a few days with my friends in La Habra and really enjoyed our time there. 

Can't get any better than Laguna Beach

Celebrating Fall with some of my favorite people

The road trip home was full of great conversations and a lot of fun as we explored Arizona and New Mexico. The Grand Canyon was ridiculously amazing, we went to the Petrified Forest  and got lost in the Apache National Forest which was beautiful beyond description. We had so much fun together and talked about everything you could possibly imagine. We laughed, cried, got lost, got a ticket (well, I did), and just had an incredible road trip together.

Rest stop somewhere between California and Arizona

Grand Canyon

Grand Canyon

I am constantly amazed by God's direction for my life. Just when I honestly had come to be okay with being single and independent - I was not looking for anyone - I was just living and loving life, doing what I felt was the best for me at the time and along came this amazing guy, who has allowed God to change his life and develop him in to the man that I have waited 31 years for. 

It has been an incredible journey and I am so excited for whatever the next step looks like. I am feeling the rewards of honoring God in my relationships and waiting for the person that God designed just for me. 

I'm Constantly Amazed....

"Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation of shifting shadow." James 1:17